Who Said We Should Have Life All Figured Out By 40?
There’s a reason for my “silver slippers”…..
“Home is a place we all must find, child. It’s not just a place where you eat or sleep. Home is knowing. Knowing your mind, knowing your heart, knowing your courage. If we know ourselves, we’re always home, anywhere.”- Lena Horne as Glinda the Good Witch in the Wiz 1978.
Dorothy did not have her life all figured out
I have to say, the 1978 adaption of the off Broadway play “The WIZ” is one of my all-time favorite movies (second after the movie “Sparkle” with Irene Cara of course). Ever since I was a child, I loved watching. Excuse me, I loved watching Michael Jackson. The others were cool too… but whewww chile…it was something about Michael that made my heart skip a beat back in the day!
I remember the storyline was about a schoolteacher named Dorothy. Dorothy believed she was not brave enough to get out into the world. She lived with her aunt despite being talked about by family members who were all concerned that she was living beneath her true potential. She was always in her own way. Always hiding in the shadows of everyone else. Feeling overlooked yet, ironically she grew very comfortable in that place. Point blank, she did not have her life all figured out.
I called this version an adaption of the play because it did not share the same storyline. I later learned the movie received backlash simply because they casted Diana Ross who was thought to have been “too old for the part”. She was 33 at the time. However, I am glad they moved forward. It was not until I became of age that I truly got to appreciate the message behind this version of the WIZ.
Onto my dreams…
In high school, I played the part of Dorothy in the Wiz. WOW can you believe that!?!?! It was the Broadway play version, but nevertheless I was excited and delighted to ease on down the yellow brick road… Decked in overalls and pigtails in my hair, I was ready for my big debut as Dorothy. Oh and instead of silver slippers, I wore silver converse. It was a lot of fun! Although, I sang my little heart out singing the song finale….“When I think of Home…”, I have to admit my favorite song in the play was “EASE on Down the Road”!
Reflecting more as I write this, I realize the movie had more impact on my early adulthood as well.. I think the impressive costuming in the movie along with my grandmother’s love for sewing, inspired me to design clothing. So at the age of 22, I moved to New York City from Virginia to study fashion design and merchandizing at the Fashion Institute of Technology. This was definitely a long awaited dream of mine!
I was on my way to being great and had not a care in the world. However, my stay was short lived, my mother was diagnosed with cancer the following year. She passed exactly 6 months later. She was 49.
My life changed drastically. I was having a hard time grieving the loss of my mother because, there I was in a big city away from my immediate family and no one to really talk to. I never felt so alone. Ultimately, I moved back home to Virginia as a result. I vowed to never be that far away from family again.
In my mind, all I wanted was to return to normalcy and familiarly. HOME was what I longed for. I needed to go back home. But to my surprise, once I got home…all my dreams and aspirations faded into the background because of LIFE. I realized I still wasn’t HOME.
…I realized….I was Dorothy.
Becoming Dorothy….
Once a young lady full of dreams and impossible ideas…was now turning into Dorothy. Ewww…..I thought. I started thinking about the years I thought I lost…which brought on depression and anxiety. Overwhelmed because I did not have my life all figured out; I didn’t know what to do or where to start. BUT….then..I remembered Dorothy’s yellow brick road… I remembered her journey…the discovery to a place called HOME. As I look at my life today, I don’t mind being like Dorothy easing down my own yellow brick road. Walking or shall I say…easing down the road in my silver slippers. And it doesn’t bother me.
For the greater part of my life, I have played it safe with little to no risks. Although I have always considered myself as an independent woman. At 22, I was promoted to my first salary paying job. At 29, I bought my own home from the ground up.
Outwardly, one may think I had my life all figured out. I did not. I had to admit to myself that I played it safe with school, my career, and my personal life for all these years. Choosing a path that was easy left me unsatisfied in the long run. I asked myself when did this happen? When did I become afraid of “stepping out” of my comfort zone? And sadly, it was around the time when my mom died. Subconsciously, I believed awful things happen when I left my comfort zone. But now faced with living in a state of being stagnant, I had no other choice. The comfort zone wasn’t my home after all.
“Don’t you carry nuthin’ that “might” be a load….”
The years of being average led to me carrying around a bag full of would’ve could’ve and should’ves… and that bag became heavy. It became a load that I realized was holding me back because there was nothing I could do with the contents. I didn’t need them for the journey. I had to ditch the bag and get on with LIFE.
At 40..I had to make a decision to move forward if I want to genuinely enjoy and have the abundant life God promised me. It is there that I truly find my Home.
I had to be done with the “wait untils”…..
……wait until I have enough money, wait until I have a husband, until I have a child, until I get my degree, until I have the career I want…wait until…..
I am over 40 years old and I am really just coming into myself. And I am loving every moment! I am realizing the journey isn’t over and it never ends. My motivation is rooted in the belief that I get the chance to change the negative narrative I once thought about my life.
Again, who said..life needs to be all figured out by age 40? I don’t and I don’t know many women who do.
EASING DOWN THE ROAD requires courage, love, heart, faith and the wisdom to recognize the lessons along the way. I am challenged to find my life’s purpose, to live out my dreams, to grow and be fruitful. The path is set before me and I must pursue. I understand that everything I need is already in me therefore I have an hope and an expectation of becoming…HER.
If you are starting over or just starting, I hope this blog encourages you. BESTIE find your yellow brick road and strut on down…..EASE on down…that road sis. I can promise you that at the end of the road you’ll find fulfillment. You’ll benefit from all of the life lessons and reap all of the blessings along that road. You’ll realize what is really holding you back and most importantly…you’ll discover what is IN you. There is purpose in the journey. Look for it along the path.
Praying ALWAYS for you~msdaynataree
